Unlike other days of remembrance, you probably won’t get a calendar alert on your phone. Unless you are widowed the significance of the date escapes you. International Widows Day is observed annually on June 23.
In 2010, the United Nations established the date to raise awareness of the needs and plight of widows and their families globally, nationally, and locally.
Widowhood is not the typical coffee or backyard picnic topic of conversation. It’s often the elephant in the room. No one wants to talk about it. Few women want to think about it. Men often don’t want to face preparing paperwork for their wives that acknowledges their brevity of life. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and unpleasant.
And did you also know…
- There are currently nearly 14 million widows in the United States.
- The average age of a widow in the United States is 59.
- There are an estimated 258 million widows around the world, and nearly one in ten live in extreme poverty..
- In some countries, widows have no rights or assistance and are shunned.
- 70% of married women become widows.
- A one-time lump-sum Social Security death payment of $255 can be paid to the surviving spouse if they were living with the deceased. This amount has not been changed since 1954.
- A couple may have planned on two social security checks in retirement each month, A widow receives only the greater amount, despite having paid into the system if she was employed.
- Some widows in the US are at poverty level, and 49% of 14 million US widows earn less than $25K per year but some are financially independent. Financial status is just one aspect showing widowhood is not a one size fits all status.
Emotionally: loneliness is real; the house is quiet and there is no one to share decisions or hugs.- Relationally: married friends move out of her life, gradually, and sometimes abruptly. Dining room sets come with four or six chairs, not five. New friends may enter, but without shared memories.
- Physically: fatigue and stress take their toll on health. A June 2020 survey taken by Modern Widows Club revealed 33% of widows had a mental or physical health diagnosis in the first year of widowhood.
- Mentally: Thinking is cloudy; forgetfulness is present.
- Spiritually: initial “grief brain” makes even simple Bible reading and prayer a challenge. Even in the church, her couple groups become foreign territory.
Has today’s blog post surprised you with new information and is your awareness heightened? Being present without words is often the best comfort for a new widow. But there are other ways too:
- Perhaps you want to add your voice and heart to support in friendship and pray for a widow you know. Say her husband’s name and share memories about him. Her timetable for grief and re-entry is as individual as her fingerprints. No two women grieve and mourn the same way, so don’t compare “grief progress”.
- Look into how to support widows in war-torn and impoverished countries.
- If you are an activist who sees flaws in our US system, as it reaches (or doesn’t) widows, you may want to advocate for widows’ (and widowers) rights.
- Think about reaching out to a widow and her children. Many are raising children as a solo parent.
- If you are a widow, check out Modern Widows Club to find in person and virtual support groups and activities to lean into life. https://modernwidowsclub.orgAs a widow, can you form a group at your church for encouragement and life-giving activities?
- How does your church support widows? Can you add anything?
- As a widow, how can you reach out to another?
Though widows may be overlooked in society and are often on the periphery in groups, widowhood was not overlooked Biblically.
- Jesus sought care for his widowed mother as He died. (John 19:26-27).
- James addresses caring for orphans and widows in the New Testament (James 1:27).
- The prophet Isaiah seems to cover it inclusively:
“Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.” Isaiah 1:17 NIV
We need to cover it too.
What has surprised you most about today’s blog post? If you are a widow with additional insights, please share in the comments.
I was not aware of some of these statistics, Marilyn, but I watched my mother go through some of these stages after my dad died. Thanks for sharing this information because it is important for the rest of society to be informed and find ways to minister to this often forgotten group. My church does have widows and widower group that meets monthly.
Thank you Barbara. Your church is to be commended-few churches have those groups.. Marilyn
Thank you for sharing this information and bringing this topic to our attention. I grew up in a neighborhood filled with widows. I learned many valuable life lessons from those special women.
One of my recent stories, which is in an anthology, is about a widow.
The data is staggering my friend. We have a number of widows, a demographic that is growing, in our church and even a group to support them, but the question I ask is what more could we do. Something I’ve been praying about, since my 70-year-old ranch hand and I have been doing this on occasion, is finding a way to fund our youth group to do the yardwork (mowing, trimming, etc.) for our widows or those who are infirm. In my mind, this would do two things; 1) teach the importance of service, and 2) teach the young people the value found in earning your summer camps, exclusive youth rooms, etc. rather than expecting them to be handed to you. Thank you for sharing such great info. Am printing this out to share with our Naomi and Ruth group at church.
JD I think the idea of the youth helping those who need it is wonderful! It also gives inter generational connections. I hope that works out. Marilyn
You message contained so many things I did not know about widows. We work a lot with orphans so I often recite James 1:27 and I pray for both daily. Widows hold a special place in our Lord’s heart so they should matter to us. Thanks Marilyn
These statistics are startling, Marilyn. Thanks for enlightening us. I find myself in the position of ministering to two newly-widowed friends, and it is challenging.
Lots of helpful information here! Thank you.
Candyce, yes the statistics are not well known and once people hear, they are surprised . I’m sure the widowed friends you are reaching g out to feel loved and cared for. Thanks for following James 1:27. Marilyn
This information is very interesting and eye-opening, Marilyn. Thank you for helping us to be more aware. Perhaps it’s my stage of life, but God has me getting closer to several widows, and I’m understanding more about their struggles so I can minister to them.
Thank you Anne for reaching out to your friends. Even a phone call makes a big difference. I agree- at our stage of life it becomes more apparent . In the nine years I’ve lived here, our group started with 6 and we are now 25. Marilyn
It’s a club we never want to join, but God is with us on this lonely journey. Thank you for sharing this important message, Marilyn.
Astounding data. Your post helps us to minister better to others. Thank you.