Today I welcome Andrea Merrill to my space. A fellow writer and neighbor in Travelers Rest, I couldn’t pass up asking her to share her story that I heard first hand over text and conversation. She offers finding hope and purpose in unexpected and difficult situations .Read on and be sure to check her bio.
For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5 NLT
“God, where are you?”
I found myself asking this question recently after a routine back surgery. The surgery went well, and for the first couple of days everything was fine. On the third day of my hospital stay—when I should have been going home—my health took a nosedive.
A reaction to the anesthesia set off a firestorm that kept me in the hospital for eight days instead of three. Blindsided by the turn of events and so sick I could barely function, I experienced one of the darkest times of my life. I felt as if God had abandoned me.
After twenty-five-plus years of chronic back pain, I had made the decision about surgery with peace, confidence in the surgeon, and more prayer covering than I could have ever hoped for. It seemed the Lord brought everything together, including the timing.
Things were not supposed to turn out this way.
Fear got the best of me. I panicked, wondering if I would even make it. I tried to pray, to call out to the Lord, but my body screamed louder than my prayers. In the same way Peter took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the storm swirling around him, I focused on my circumstances and felt myself sinking.
My dependence remained on those I knew were interceding for me.
After leaving the hospital, I was still very sick but finally able to think clearly enough to pray. I told God I had let Him down. I let myself down. But in my heart I knew God had been right there with me all the time, holding my hand and walking me through the fire. Tears poured as I asked Him to forgive me for thinking He had deserted me, even for a moment.
That’s when I heard Jesus whisper, Remember, I felt that way once too.
His gentle whisper pierced my heart. I thought about Hebrews 4:15: For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin (NIV). Jesus knew exactly how I felt. He understood my pain, my fear, and my questions. And He was with me through it all, just like always.
One day we will stand before Him in a place prepared for us where there are no tears, no sorrow, no pain, and no more death. I’m looking forward to that day, but until then I plan to stand strong and put all my faith and hope in the One who gave His all for me.
What about you? Have you ever felt abandoned by the Lord? Maybe you’ve weathered hard situations and questioned why, but afterward you realized God used the storm to weave hope and purpose into your life story. If so, you have a powerful testimony. Be sure to share your experience with others who need encouragement, and let them know that as God’s child they are never alone.
Andrea Merrell is a writer, blogger, and professional freelance editor living in the beautiful upstate of South Carolina. She is an associate editor with Christian Devotions Ministries and former editor with LPC Books and Iron Stream Media. She is the award-winning author of Murder of a Manuscript, Praying for the Prodigal, and Marriage: Make It or Break It and has been published in numerous anthologies and online venues.
Andrea has a passion to help others see God’s Word as relevant and practical for everyday life. She is a wife, mother, proud grandmother of six, Hallmark mystery movie junkie, and lover of coffee and dark chocolate. To read her weekly devotions or contact her, visit www.AndreaMerrell.com or www.TheWriteEditing.com.
I sure can remember that overwhelming feeling of abandonment Ms. Andrea. So powerful that I had my Jacob’s river encounter with God over a four-day weekend. In the end, as He always does, He won and I finally surrendered my everything to Him. Life didn’t become perfect, but it sure became better because I learned the importance of His promise to never leave us. He was there with me through the river of divorce, sadness, lost-ness, and rebellion. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement ma’am. God’s blessings. And thank you Ms. Marilyn for bringing this powerful testimony to light.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, J.D. Whatever the Enemy means for evil and destruction, God ALWAYS turns around and works for our good and His glory. He is a loving heavenly Father who takes good care of His children, even when we’re unaware. Blessings to you. 🙂
Tears slid down my cheeks as my heart resonated with yours, Andrea. Yes. I know that feeling of abandonment, and I rejoice that it was simply that … a feeling. Holy Spirit abides in me, Jesus walks with me, and the Father unfurls His loving plan over me. Amen As God’s child I am never alone. Thank you for sharing so intimately.
Feeling abandoned is the Enemy’s way of separating us from God–and from those closest to us. Thankfully, my Father used this situation as a lesson in trust and drew me closer than I’ve ever been before. He is certainly good. All the time. No matter what. Thanks for your comments, my friend. 🙂
Andrea, I am so sorry you went through that painful ordeal, but I am so thankful you came through with victory. Thanks for sharing your story with us. The Word tells us to comfort each other with the same comfort we have received. Your words are inspiration to all of us when we go through trying times. Thanks, Marilyn, for hosting Andrea on your site.
Thanks, Barbara. I love what you said about comfort. I always say God doesn’t comfort us so we can be comfortable but so we can comfort others. I think He means for us to benefit from each other during both the good times and the bad. He is good … all the time! Blessings! 🙂
Andrea, I’m so sorry you faced that challenging time, but I appreciate you sharing it here and highlighting God’s faithfulness.
Thanks, Jeannie. God is certainly faithful … always. I love the song that tells us even when we can’t see or feel it, He is always working. Blessings! 🙂
What a painful but powerful story, Andrea. Thank you for being bold enough to share it. One of my most difficult times was when I began experiencing what the doctor originally diagnosed as rapid onset hearing loss. I was terrified of what was happening and what it might mean for our family. But, as you reminded us, God was with me the whole time and helped us through it. He is faithful!
Leigh, your story is powerful as well. I love the faithfulness of our Father, even when we aren’t faithful to trust Him completely as we should. Blessings! 🙂
Yes, Andrea, I have felt that abandoment as welll, but when we stop, listen, and prayer, we hear God’s gentle whisper, “I am here, trust Me.” Thank you for sharing this inspiring message of faith.
Thanks for your comment, Katherine. God is always whispering, “I am here, trust Me,” but when we focus on the problem instead of the problem-solver, the problem becomes so loud we can’t hear that gentle whisper. That’s what I did, but He, as always, was faithful. Blessings! 🙂
Thank you Andrea for sharing this. I knew you had gone through some health challenges – I missed your blog posts – but didn’t realize how serious. Your story gives me hope and comfort that Jesus will be with me through hard situations I might face in the future.
Candyce, I love your comment, especially about hope. That’s what I hope (pun intended) to extend to all who are going through a hard time. Jesus is and always will be with us in every situation. Blessings to you! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story with honesty and humility, Andrea. I’ve lived long enough to experience–a number of times–circumstances that seemed too difficult to bear. But here I am! And looking back, I can see how God grew my faith and character through each episode. Now I thank God for those hard times, knowing he accomplished good through it all. I wouldn’t want to lead a life of constant ease anyway. That leads to becoming a spoiled child!
Hard times are never fun, but I love how God grows and matures us through each one. Thanks so much for your comment. Blessings! 🙂