Ocean Waves

Today I’m sharing an excerpt from my new devotional, Mourning Glories: 40 Devotions on Grief, Faith and New Seasons for Widows. More information follows at the end of the devotion.

Ocean Waves

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. PSALM 94:19 NIV

When I went to the beach with my grandsons, their effervescence at the sight of the ocean surpassed a popping champagne cork. Mason rushed out to the ocean’s edge. As the waves splashed on his body, he raised his arms and proclaimed, “This is the best day ever.” Seeing the excitement on his face made it my best day too. That is, until after dinner, when he got sick. Not the best way to end a special day

Best days are unique to individuals. A high schooler’s best day may be passing a course, thankful he doesn’t have to repeat it. A woman’s best day may be reaching her weight loss goal. A golfer’s best day is shooting under par. As widows, we have one of our best days when we’ve mastered a project, can attend a social gathering alone and feel included, or have several days without tears. Like our beach day, best days can be interrupted. We may not walk to the ocean’s edge, but going around our usual business, a wave rolls in. We pass a supermarket aisle that holds our husband’s favorite food, or we hear a song that reminds us of him. And unexpectedly, a current of emotions rises in a rush. We’re not prepared, and we can’t escape. Soaking wet from the current, we raise our arms and say, “What? Where did this come from?”

Months and even years later, an aroma, a song, returning to a familiar restaurant, or seeing an old movie triggers tears we thought had dried up. Grief and loss don’t have expiration dates. Share on X

Loss isn’t linear nor compartmentalized in stages. In a stable and calm time, even when we have built activities and new friends around our grief and are engaged on a path full of life, we can have an emotional response, a grief burst. I tried to find Bible characters who had grief bursts; I searched for patterns of waves in Scripture. Barren Hannah longed for children. Watching her husband’s other wife raise children could have elicited grief bursts. She cried out in prayer begging for a son. And the apostle Paul suffered beatings and hardships as well as the exuberance and privilege of the Holy Spirit’s inspiration, by which he wrote much of the New Testament. Paul spent time in prison, yet he also had the loving responses of churches. To the church at Philippi he wrote, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. . . . I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11, 13).

I think that’s the principle as our waves of grief come and recede. We have best days and others that are challenging. Rushing waves aren’t part of our best days, but waves come because we had the best. Grief bursts can be seen as positive reminders of the love and joy we had with our husband. Grief and gratitude, grief bursts and healing, can coexist. With God’s strength and grace we can continue walking along the shore.

Father, I identify with waves and bursts. Thank You for Your comfort and strength as I work through them. In Jesus’s name, amen.

Reflection: Think about the phrase “Waves come because we had the best.” How is that a consolation to you? A beautiful hymn, “Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus” by Samuel Trevor Francis, speaks of the love of God that exceeds the size and power of oceans. Pull it up on the internet. Close your eyes, absorb its truths, and be immersed in the love of God.

Practically Speaking: What are your thoughts about building activities and new friendships around your grief? How can those positives and grief coexist?

Today’s Mourning Glory Covering

He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them—he remains faithful forever. PSALM 146:6

“Never apologize for tears.”  Harold Ivan Smith, ABC’s of Grieving

Mourning Glories: 40 Devotions on Grief, Faith and New Seasons for Widows was released June 23 by Our Daily Bread Publishing. It’s available on Amazon and bulk copies through ODBP. If you are a widow I know you’ll relate to the stories and scripture. If you know a widow, I hope you’ll consider sharing this devotional with her-forward this post-or gift her a copy of the book.