November Notes: Simply Cultivating Gratitude

“I love it! Thank you!” Have you used a louder voice and maybe a higher pitch to express an exuberant response to unwrapping a gift?  Family around our table, an offer of a dream job, or a breathtaking travel experience all rank high on our gratitude list.

But sometimes we open a gift, give a polite “thank you” while our mind says, “What were they thinking?” The job offer doesn’t come, and it turns out our budget won’t support a trip. It’s hard to express genuine gratitude in those moments.

Years ago I was presented with an opportunity that looked amazing—a chance to grow and do what I loved. It didn’t work out and to say I was disappointed, was an understatement. Questions circled in my mind and I had to pursue plan B. Years later, I discovered the situation was a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing. My Plan B was God’s Plan A. I was thankful He protected me and kept me from what would have been a disastrous situation. Gratitude didn’t come immediately, but evolved.

We may take it for granted, but when our feet hit the floor in the morning, maybe still tired, we woke to a fresh start for a new day. Gratitude.

• As we go through our day, instead of “I have to ______,” we can change our perspective to “I get to___________”. In that earlier situation I mentioned, I got the opportunity to pursue Plan B. It was different but eventually much more suited to me. Maybe today you “get to” mop your floor with the perspective that you have health and strength and a home to live in.
• At day’s end, we can rewind my day when our head hits the pillow, reflect and express gratitude for five ordinary things about our day.
• Years ago I was given a five year gratitude journal. Each day, I wrote something I was thankful for. The next year I repeated the ritual and continued. I realized how forgetful I can be when I read a gratitude statement written three years earlier.  I recognized it, but had forgotten. Some use journal prompts for the day; others write gratitude statements and put strips of paper in a jar, then read them at the end of the month or year. It’s a good way to remember and cultivate the practice of gratitude.
• We can reframe our thinking. Instead of annoyance at being stuck at a long light, we can be thankful we have the health to independently be out and about. As I age, I notice more seniors dependent on others for transportation. I “get to” drive.
• Take time to notice your surroundings with their aromas and sights. The Fall season is filled with colors, flavors, and scents.
• Slow down and pause. When my daughters were taking piano lessons, their teacher told them to observe the “rest” written in the music. It was there to absorb the beauty of what was heard and to anticipate what is coming next. The rest is part of the music. We can practice being still to notice and appreciate what we have. My recent three-mile walk with family on a trail in Pennsylvania was filled with stops to absorb and marvel the stunning Fall colors.

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” — Melody Beattie

• A few weeks ago, I shared a new word with my grandson–serendipity. I suggested he look for a serendipity in his day or week—an unexpected pleasantry leaving him grateful. What pleasantly surprised you today?

“We can cultivate the habit of being curious and noticing subtle moments of beauty or kindness throughout the day, many of which are unexpected or serendipitous, such as seeing a rainbow or a thoughtful gesture from a stranger,”  Dr. Bruce Feldstein, Chaplain and faculty member at Stanford Lifestyle Medicine

• Give thanks and write a thank you note to someone—not in response to a special occasion or gift, but to acknowledge something that you appreciate and value in them or a kindness they showed. In a day of texting, even receiving a handwritten note is cause for gratitude.
• Take a moment at the end of a transaction to thank a clerk and call her by name. (You may be her serendipity.)
• The last, but is the first, offer prayers of praise and simple thanks each day for who God is, and the blessings in your life. This article at Crosswalk offers prayers of rest and gratitude for the weekend. Perhaps on Mondays you can alter the prayers for the coming week.

Researchers tell us gratitude gives us a sense of wellbeing and contributes to clearer thinking. Studies show physical health benefits in decreased blood pressure and more restful sleep. People who cultivate gratitude are more pleasant to be around, than those who are negative.

Hard things happen. Life challenges and disappointments are real. We don’t want to minimize them and stuff our emotions, but changing our perspective and being intentionally grateful for simple things and what is good, is a step toward being positive and healthy. Today you woke up and read about gratitude. 

What about you? What are your simple gratitude practices? How have you seen an attitude of gratitude change your day?