Decreasing Holiday Stress

It’s called the most wonderful time of the year. For some, the holiday season falls short of that description.

Starting with the first store display and sounds of Christmas music, stress is often a daily companion. We make holiday plans-and change them. We silently hope this year will be better than last, but when we sit back on December 26, we’re exhausted, sometimes disappointed, and ready to take down the Christmas tree.

In his book, The Four Emotions of Christmas, author Bob Lepine says, “We expect the Christmas to be a season filled with magic. Yet so often, we experience disappointment when our deepest longings go unfulfilled.”

We know our lasting hope and real joy come in placing Jesus as the focus of the Christmas season, but activities and obligations show up at the top of our list. Some are urgent. Others are necessary and personally important. We check off as we go, trying to make the season perfect.

We may have events-the death of a loved one, estranged family, or more month than money, that cloud the merry and bright season. These are difficult  realities we can’t ignore.

Practice self-care:

• Make time for exercise, enough sleep, and practice nutritious eating.
• Look for gratitude in simple everyday things. Instead of “I have to,” think “I get to.” Instead of “I wish” think, “I have.”
• Know the difference between solitude and loneliness. Consider that alone time can be a gift.
• Be kind and compassionate to yourself. You are not responsible for someone’s insensitivity or unkind words or actions. Pray about the situations that trouble you. Is change possible on your part?

Be intentional:

• Plan and prioritize. What can you remove from your calendar to decrease stress? Be realistic and be comfortable is saying, “no.” Leave empty squares on your calendar.
• Take time to pause and sit. Listen to Christmas carols and absorb the meaning of the lyrics.
• Choose screen time wisely. Social media and the news can distract, cloud thinking, and can be negative emotional influences that change a good day to a bad one.
• Live in the present-not what might happen or what happened last year or five years ago. The present is a gift.
• Live within your budget-not in others’ expectations.
• Remember those who have passed away the way you want to remember them.
• Recall past holiday emotional triggers. Think of how you can be proactive. Does that mean avoiding a place, certain events, or difficult people, or even decorations that may be associated with pain or loss? Read Galatians 5: 22-23 and pray for that response.

Be flexible:

• Accept that the unexpected is expected. Interruptions happen. If something doesn’t get done or not at your individual best, accept it.
• Acknowledge traditions change. Christmas changes every year. Babies are born, people move, health changes, friends move in and out. What was a few years ago, may not be today.

Reach out:

• Do you know a person who is alone and doesn’t connect with the activities and festivity of the season? How can you reach out with your time and brighten their day?
• If you are spending the holidays with others, share your thoughts and expectations.
• Do you know someone grieving and spending this Christmas without a loved one? What support can you offer?

Focus on Jesus:

• Beginning on December 1, read one chapter of the Gospel of Luke. On Christmas Eve, you will complete the book.
• Find the prophecies in Isaiah fulfilled in the New Testament. Record them in your journal with gratitude.
• Practice soul care-read scripture, pray, fellowship, and worship.
• Meditate on Truth-a scripture that personally speaks to your needs, and repeat it throughout the day.
• Read Mary’s Magnificat-Luke 1:46-55-and savor her words and prayer in her life-altering situation. What part of that prayer can be yours?

In the Christmas carol, “God Rest, ye Merry Gentlemen,” we sing, “let nothing you dismay…when we were gone astray.” We can fall into a packed calendar and expectations that steal our joy and lead us astray- away from the hope of the season. Listen to the carol here, and remember the tidings of comfort and joy are gifts waiting to unwrap.

Look back and read the list. Which most resonates with you? Share with us.

Reaching out: Every day in the US 1,000 women become widows and the average age of a widow is 59. For them, the holiday season is stressful on many levels. Grieving the loss of their husband is primary, but secondary losses are layered. With that in mind, I wrote Hope for Widows: Reflections on Mourning, Living, and Change. Our Daily Bread publishing saw the need for support and to give widows a voice, and will release the book on January 2, 2024. . As one widow to another, I share experiences to encourage women as they mourn and lean into life. I also wrote the book “for” them- to support them, hoping those who know and love widows will read it and see how they can be a “one another” in a dramatic life season, as James 1:27 tells us. The book is available for pre-order on Amazon.